In our campuses and society today, the biggest virus is spreading. This virus is none other than the sponsor manenos as known in Kenya, blesser issues in South Africa, and sugar daddies as they are known in other parts of Africa and the world at large. My main concern is Kenya today. We may not acknowledge the fact that it is a problem that needs eradication but we also do not agree with these acts either. Behind closed doors we talk ill about it but in the open we speak out nothing against it. We seat back watch as our daughters, sisters, and future mothers waste away their lives thanks to the benefactor movement.
Is it wrong? I cannot say for sure since I have not tried it out yet. All I know is that it sounds wrong but yet again there are people who actually justify these movement. They think it is okay to go through it. I am no one to judge but why would a 20-year-old girl date a 50-year-old married man when there are men between the ages of 20-30. What could you possibly have from the old men that the younger version will not have. I don’t know if it’s true but I think men are all alike the difference is the status, cashflow, success and worldly experience. Despite that fact there are still men who are quite young and are very successful.
Inter-generation relationships have been seen to create havoc in several countries in the Africa realm. The trouble comes in where teenage pregnancy or young motherhood begins, the spread of HIV\AIDS is also eminent. The relationships do not serve the purpose in which they are intended for since the rise of sexually transmitted disease are what are increasing in our society instead.
The weird thing is that some of these girls sleep with the said benefactors for material gifts and at the same time are against prostitution. These relationships are in a way upgraded prostitution since young girls sleep with older men for the financial help they get. It has become trendy to the point that even ladies who do not need the money still do it since it’s what people do today.
How is it you go around town with a man old enough to be your father and be okay with it? Some of them are married with kids who are of the same age as you are maybe older? This thing has escalated to the availability of applications where people sign up and meet. The apps are known to connect sugar babies and sugar daddies. It is a way to meet one another and pick who to get into relationships with.
I think before we engage in some activities we should ask ourselves, what if that man was your father? And what if that young lady was your daughter? Everyone has a right to their own opinion and everyone can choose the path they want to in life but at the same time we need to think about the choices that we make? We need to look into ourselves and our families and decide if what we do would help the family or destroy it.
As Kenyans we are only seen to speak out when tragedy strikes. In the year 2015 when a Nairobi university girl was killed we were very reactive to the story but what next, nothing. I watched as the masponsor theme grow more popular but I did not hear anyone speak out loud about it until Sharon Otieno was killed three years later. Then here comes my question why do we have to wait till tragedy strikes for us to react? I was absolutely sure that the story would be forgotten and there would be a new story on the headlines and we will act like it never happened, and now its happening just as I predicted. Sharon did not get justice yet the story has been buried under a sea of lies and deceit. It’s quite unravelling since these things happen in our own backyard.
Am not old am in my early twenties, but I can say that since I was in high school, I have seen the morality of young women degrade just for a good snapshot on Instagram, snap chat or Facebook. The lives people live on social media are quite fake and different from their reality.
Back when I was in campus, about three years ago I went clubbing with a group of friends. It was a normal night out in a club. What set this night apart was the fact that it was week night and not the usual weekend nights. Upon arrival, the scene before was one I had not expected. As I sat in the corner nursing my drink I could spot several faces of young women that I knew from around town or school seated with various men. What was more surprising is that some of the men were people I knew to be married and others still had their wedding bands around their fingers.
It was a night of horror and reality hit me that even some of my own friends were in this business. I can promise you there is nothing more disgusting than watching a girl you know “akipapasa kitambi ya mwanaume mzee kushinda baba yake” and what was even more horrifying was that you would here the ladies call them “sweetie”. As I watched these my thoughts fell on one of my friends, a hardworking lady who had started selling clothes (practically hawking) while we were in our first year in uni, and by the time we were in our third year she had opened her own boutique. I believe that we all can work hard to live the life we deserve. So why can’t we all strive for an honest living. She was struggling, yes but at the same time, she was making an honest living for herself and she was dictating terms on how to live. She had never depended on anyone or any man, she was her own woman and I remain inspired by her zeal and motivation for a better life by her own hands.
We are all capable, we are all able. Warnings have been given to us, by our parents, colleagues, even people who have gone through the same process but we never listen. It’s high time we put a listening ear to the words we hear. It is high time we accepted ourselves for who we are and where we come from. Once you can accept yourself the rest will come easy. Our circumstances are different but at the same time we are all able to change our lives by honestly making money. This life that we think is grand has consequences more times than not.
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